So I have been in a dark place since I lost the love of my life. I just for whatever reason have a lot of trouble being on my own. I feel so alone. I don’t have not only my girlfriend anymore, I lost my best friend too. She meant so much to me and she is gone.
I know I shouldn’t have placed so much emphasis on her in my life, it is unfair to her, as it places a lot of pressure on her, and it makes me fragile because I use her to live my life. But for whatever reason I didn’t see it while I was in the relationship. I need to be able to take care of myself. For instance I drank alcohol every day in my room, by myself, since we broke up. I wanted to do something very dark and negative with my life, take it. But I know for a fact that not only would my family not want that, God wouldn’t either.
I know that He is looking out for me. He has given me many gifts in my life, and my ex-girlfriend was just one of them. She helped me meet my actually father (who I had not seen for my entire 32 years of life). She helped me get back into graduate school. She helped me, and was connected to God in many ways. She actually taught me a lot about Him, and we discussed Him regularly.
I will always love her for what she’s done for me. I will never forget it. But I will make sure her efforts were not in vain. I will stop drinking. I will start taking care of myself, eating, drinking water, and trying to sleep more (I have trouble with sleep). I will get myself to a place where I can be proud of myself, where I can look at the mirror and genuinely like what I see. I will start now. Thanks, and be well.
God's Purpose in your Life 